Its Sunday afternoon and we just got back from celebrating a FANTASTIC day with friends at Valle Luna. In order to understand the emotional roller coaster that has occurred today, I must go back to the beginning...
This morning started out crazy... I couldn't find anything to wear....one of those days... I have been so stressed lately, my face broke out (hello....32.....can I please stop getting zits already??) Then my hair which desperately needs a cut.....had a mind of its own which I did not agree with in any way....LOL I finally get everything together when I realize....my kids aren't dressed, we have 15 minutes till I need to be at Worship Practise and I forgot to get the Women of Faith flier completed (URGGG) So I pause to do that, get the boys ready and we race out the door. As you can imagine...I am keyed up, sweating like crazy and just overly anxious. I am praying that God will sooth my spirit allowing me to enjoy the tremendous occasion of Christian's Baptism.
So, the worship band sings a song and then Noah begins to disobey me blatantly and I know I can't let him act like that....so I take him outside and there are people everywhere. I end up trying to get him in the Women's bathroom and TRY is the operative word here. My 6 year old threw a fabulous tantrum worthy of an award for sure! He literally was holding on to the sides of the door screaming, "NOT THE GIRLS BATHROOM, I'M A BOY" while I am pulling with all my might to get him inside. My question is....WHEN DID MY 6 YEAR OLD GET STRONGER THEN ME? So we deal with the tantrum and I go back to worship practise.
Before Church begins, I run to the restroom where I find Doni who commiserates with me over the Noah drama she and everyone else witnessed. I tell her of my day thus far and my fellow SIC grabbed me and said, "Lets pray together now" It was exactly what I needed. Thanks so much Doni.
After the band sings their songs I get up to sing a special in honor of Christian's day and my words at the beginning....explain the end...."Okay everyone, this is a very emotional day for me so I will try not to cry but if I do...I hope you all cry with me" Well, suffice it to say.....my church family cried with me! I broke down, lost it......couldn't sing...was just overcome with the glory of what Christian was doing. Knowing that my son at a very impressionable age where it is better to be cool then polite, etc.....chose to accept Christ was just my undoing. To know that God loved me so much he gave me Christian and then Christian was able to choose God in turn is just beyond words! Again....I lost it...I was sobbing on stage but when I finished......everyone was crying with me! :) Gotta love all of them for that.
It was just one of those profound moments in life when you truly felt all of God's blessings and all of the emotion of his love poured out in tears.
After my sob fest, Christian was baptised and it was SO AWESOME! I am so proud of him. He is an amazing person that truly loves the Lord. PD joked about his height and said that I must have lied for 2 years pretending that I didn't have a child...that it wasn't possible for a 12 yr old to be so tall and it was just heart rendering to laugh while tears continued to pour down my cheeks. But, I have to say I honored my commitment to Laurie earlier in the day......"I will be crying tears of joy" :)
I can't wait to see Ryan and Noah make this journey towards Christ. Thanks so much to all of you that shared this special day with me.
Here are the words to the UNBELIEVABLE song I almost sang....LOL
I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew the me back then
I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place you brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
Even though I'm free
Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
Heal the wound but leave the scar
I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that you've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem
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4 comments:
I thought you looked great this morning up there, I was admiring your fit figure, cute sparkly shirt and great hair! I didn't see a zit! I loved your song, I wanted to stand up, so I just startied claping loudly before anyone else:) Thank you for showing that emotion, it was a beautiful and real moment for all of us. And we are so blessed to have each other and our beautiful children.
Love ya!
So here I am sitting at my computer, tears rolling down my face again! I cried when you sang it and now that you put the words up there for me to read...WOW! What an inspiring day it was yesterday!
Brooke, LOL the "image" we have in our own head is always worse then the reality....but it felt REALLY BAD. I don't think I have cried with that kind of emotion since I accepted Christ. It was extremely powerful for me and just inspiring to know that I could break down in front of so many people without worrying about it. :)
I am totally choked up reading your post. Thank you for sharing all of it, from beginning to end. It is so amazing how God always works everything together for good...even stressful mornings! Satan just loves to try and bring us down especially at the really important times. It is awesome to see how the Lord made everything beautiful...Christian, what a blessing he is! I wish I could ahve seen it, but I kinda feel like I did now after reading this:). Heather, you are such an amazing person, thank you for everything you do for our church, we love you!
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